new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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