In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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