i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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