Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
