I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
