If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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