I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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