no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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