420 ftw
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
