You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
