My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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