She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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