My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
