Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
