I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
