I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
