did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
