i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
