Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
