like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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