You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
