It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
