You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
