where does the pee come out of this thing
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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