we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
