so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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