We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
