he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
