Dual....:-)
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
