I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
