this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
