I love black thongs
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
