I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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