Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
