I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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