Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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