i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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