We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
