"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Two words: blizzard sex
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
