apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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