Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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