Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
