No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
