so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
In other news, I just burned my penis
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
