I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
