I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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