She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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