One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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