I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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