What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
