There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
